Episode 48 ' Warning! - Gondolier Kidnapper at Large!'

Beth reports an attempted kidnap in SL Botanical Gardens and wishes to alert her lady friends in particular.

Beth had just rezzed into her home territory and was happily gazing into space like a gormless moron as she checked her IMs and notecards of what she had already missed out on at Bella Vida (as she is asleep while everyone else is having fun cos her operator had the monumental lack of foresight to move to NZ eight years ago, and not to LA) when her trusty mini-map showed a green blob right on top of her. Being the sort of girl who watches movies and spends a lot of time screaming at the characters “Don’t just look round the corner you f**ckwit, think 360 – look up you idiot, look up… oh too late” she did just that. And sure enough, she is confronted by a flying gondola.

She “Good grief! I didn’t think those things were supposed to fly!”
He “C’mon! Get in!”
She “I don’t think so, that looks kinda dangerous”
Beth is thinking – hmmm. This looks like one of those ‘young people’, and he’s managed to hack into a piece of SL real estate and bend it to his will. If Beth got into it and let him whisk her away, she wonders what hideous fate awaited her – probably subjected to some code-twisted, evilly-manipulated pose-ball humiliation before being ripped prim from prim and stuffed down the back of a cushion in the Rajah House at the top of the hill.

While the loss of her avatar would be a serious blow – Beth then remembers the Inventory she has pieced together over the last two months, all pathologically arranged in neat folders and bursting with clothes, shoes (that don’t fit), more clothes, her beloved Mysti tool, all those notecards and landmarks, even more clothes and that penis she picked up while no one was looking in that freebie store, cos, well, curiosity completely overwhelmed her – plus all the rest of the clothes…

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

She “No, I don’t think so”
He “No seriously, get in! It’ll be fun”
Luckily for Beth – at that very moment a lovely Irish chap she met in this very spot only the night before rezzed in and said “Hi”
She “Hey V…..! Just in time!”
Evil Gondolier Kidnapper “Curses! Foiled again!”
(Actually, that’s a complete lie – he did, in fact, offer to take both of them for a spin in his mutant Venetian water-taxi but then flew off)
He “In time for what?”
She “To save me from the Evil Gondolier Kidnapper!”
He “What Evil Gondolier Kidnapper?”
She “That one! In the flying gondola! Didn’t you see him?”
He “Er. No…”

Beth quickly realizes that any credibility she may have had with her new friend stands about as much chance as a sack of kittens on its way to a play-date with the edge of the Niagara Falls, so impressively feigns the collapse of the entire broadband system in the Southern Hemisphere rather than try to persuade him round to her way of thinking, followed by a quick ‘Ctrl, Alt, Delete’

Reputation still (probably) intact for another night, Beth resolves to do the honorable thing and warn her fellow SL playmates of this impudent spoilsport – so their wardrobes may live to astound and amaze another day!



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