Episode 61 - Seth Dodges the Thought Police

Seth has met a lovely Japanese woman. Right now, around Second Life, claxons are sounding and the Thought Police are clipping on the riot gear. As pointed out in the last few Episodes, for many SL players this is a scenario that produces an explosion of emotional outrage. Seth’s profile does not explicitly state that he is a ‘thick’ avatar. It does not reveal any information about his RL Operator. And, perhaps worst of all, his Operator is of a different gender to the avatar.

While Revelators, homophobes and advertisers froth themselves into a self-righteous frenzy at this insistence on privacy and self-responsibility, others may simply pause to consider ethics and their relation to Avatar/Operator behaviour. There are some excellent articles about this at blogspot.com or alphavilleherald.com and Seth has done his best to pave the way for a guilt-free and non-toxic ride. He came to his own conclusions and is determined to stick by his decisions honestly. Like the other fictional characters Seth’s Operator has created in her stories, blogs and SL (see Episode 59), Seth set out into the virtual world with his own little bundle of authenticity, integrity and consistency. How did it weather? And what did Seth’s Operator learn about herself?

As stated in Episode 59, Seth’s character manifested as attentive, polite, interested and with a non-sarcastic sense of humour. A thoroughly nice lad. He doesn’t feel the need to ‘get the upper hand’ with chaps or ‘prove him/herself’ with the ladies, as Beth so often does. He is far more relaxed and laid back in social encounters than his Operator is in RL. He is more curious than mischievous, unlike his Role Playing alt. And while there remains a nagging worry (despite vigorous profile checking for the tell-tale signs) that someone he talks to might suddenly morph into a screaming, unreasonable and accusative Revelator (Seth pictures the finger-pointing scenes from ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’), he has only picked sensible people to talk to so far.

He met K in a Zen Garden where she introduced him to meditation pose balls and the noble Japanese art of not talking yourself up as a social convention. What a blessed relief from those annoyingly self-aggrandising Revelators! Seth and K got on extremely well. And Seth went out of his way to NOT imply that he was looking for anything other than interesting conversation, cultural exchange and friendship. So a second meeting was arranged.

They met up in New Toulouse for the ‘Wages of Sin’ murder mystery hunt. If you haven’t done one of these before, Seth would highly recommend it. The pre-arranged start point was a bright, open public square in the middle of the sim. There was a big poster saying “Click Here To Start” (the blindingly obvious is always a profoundly welcome help to the uninitiated, and gets the whole thing off to a positive start). The first clue introduced the murder and then took them off to the scene of the crime a few streets away. There was the option to teleport or follow the Big Red Arrow. Following the BRA became a running joke and was also a fantastic way to explore the sim. It took the pair of erstwhile sleuths to places they would almost certainly never have found if they had just been wandering about aimlessly. And there are some remarkable places in New Toulouse, well worth a visit.

Seth was having some rezzing issues, which made looking for visual clues something of a pain, but K was having much more luck. She found the second clue and triumphantly opened the notecard giving more of the story, another clue and the next destination. With the scent of blood in her nostrils, K turned into a different character. She was rushing ahead, pounding the pavements, barging into buildings and harassing any passer-by for more information. Seth could merely trail in her wake, doggedly tracking the BRA, struggling against the lag and hoping there might be a clue left when he got there.



There seldom was. K was relentless. They stormed through shops, brothels, cafes and the cemetery. They took time out to view an art gallery, dance to jazz and jump on a set of ‘have an argument’ pose balls (which at least allowed Seth to vent some of his lag-induced frustration in a socially acceptable and extremely amusing way). They found lipsticks, lucky coins, bottles of absinthe and trumpet-legend’s trumpets. Well. K did. The absolute low point for Seth was in Kari’s Bar and Dine. There were a number of patrons – New Toulouse regulars by the sounds of things. One was showing off his new avatar – a Transformer that went from a black and white American cop car complete with flashing lights and siren, to a room-filling black and white robot complete with flashing lights and siren. K accosted them for help in finding the clue – but they wouldn’t let on. K found it anyway about 4 seconds later, under the piano. She marched victorious through the double doors calling out “au revoir, tout le monde!” and flounced off towards the next clue. So not only a ninja clue-finder, but she speaks French too! With all the lag-generated stumbling around, the lack of visual acuity and the general less-than-stunning performance so far, Seth was feeling under pressure to make a good impression. He had to come up with something with flair and panache. He was going to have walk and talk at the same time! “Au revoir!” he typed into Local Chat while attempting to manoeuvre himself around to point directly facing the open door. The lag ensured that it was like circling an oil tanker in mid-ocean. He hit the return key to say the words, while launching himself gamely towards the doorway. He missed. Of course. And worse, the wall he crashed into gave him the ‘waggling insect’ treatment big time. So while the bar patrons were amused by Seth’s arse-end jiggling erratically, he prayed that K was far enough in front of him not to notice. He double-clicked on his mini-map and hoped he wouldn’t end up in a fountain. When he eventually caught up with K, she was so distracted with the next clue she appeared not to have noticed his tragic faux-pas.

Twenty clues and nearly four hours later – K and Seth had solved the mystery. They were delighted! The story turned out to be torturously complicated, and they hadn’t worked out even half of it. But when they got to read it in its entirety it was a fabulous tale of murder, theft, disintegrating relationships and dastardly double-crosses. As entertaining as the hunt itself. And not only that – but the final destination held a whole rack of freebies produced by people in the sim to entice you back again. There were clothes, lamps, jewellery boxes and drinking animations. K loved her Cat Fish Mardi Gras gown and Seth was particularly taken with the formal tux with silver piping and couldn’t wait to try it on. Intellectually tested, visually sated and laden down with prizes, the two happy detectives said their farewells and skipped out of SL with the smug glow that comes from a job well done.

So, returning to the ethical issues raised in Episode 60. Had Seth’s behaviour satisfied the Thought Police? Had he misled, tricked, cajoled or conned K by spending the afternoon with her on a murder mystery hunt? Would a Revelator judge him negatively? Frankly, Seth doesn’t give a flying monkey’s chuff. He had a great time, K had a great time and next week they are going out dancing wearing the freebie outfits from their prize haul. Of course, it could be interesting to see who rezzes the pose balls and takes the lead. Because, let’s face it, K’s Operator could in all likelihood – be a bloke! But then, quite honestly – who cares?!

Episode 60 - Attack of the 50ft Leaky

Beth is back from holiday and has been sleuthing and snooping all week. Following the leads thrown up in Episode 59 about thick, thin and leaky avatars in Second Life - yes. There does seem to be a new Tribe in town. Beth hadn’t really come across them before, but then, she hasn’t been in SL more than a few months. So she’s unsure whether this is old hat, a new conspiracy or some sort of backlash. But Beth has noticed a particularly prevalent attitude. In profiles, on blogs, during conversations. Beth calls them the Revelators. You know the ones – “I’m pretty much the same in RL and SL”; “Oh – are you talking to my pixels now? Or to me?”; “You have to remember that there’s a real person behind this avatar, you know”; “I love alts. I hunt them down and barbecue them"

The blogs in particular seem to be awash with posts about the ‘ethics’ of revealing RL predilections inside SL. And the alarming trend seems to be that revelation is considered far more ‘ethical’ than non-revelation. Now Beth has a theory. She thinks there are three kinds of people who are evangelically enthusiastic about unbridled exposure and the non-existence of privacy. Stalkers. Complete nosey parkers. And advertisers.

Now, Beth may be old-fashioned. But she really doesn’t see a need to make life any easier for creeps, peeping toms and lazy racketeers. But this meme is out there. Virally marketing its insipid way through Second Life. The new SL viewer is a prime example. RL info is the second box now, not the last. Suggests a change in emphasis, don’t you think? Are advertisers interested in the vital statistics of virtual characters? Of course they’re bloody not. Do they care that you “Like to meet people, go to clubs and am mainly here to have fun – IM me!” No. They want to see “Dutch, male, 38, married with 3 kids” or “23 year old Texan girl who likes antique teapots and poodle racing”. NOW they have someone to sell to!

The stalkers would seem to have an obvious agenda. Although Beth thinks it’s a little too easy to tumble into this category without being wholly conscious of the fact. The current technology certainly aides and abets privacy invasion, secret tracking and guerrilla communication in unexpected and often jaw-dropping ways. One avatar stood calmly by and described Beth’s underwear to her one day. This proved hugely embarrassing as her ‘socks’ and underpants had entirely over-the-top names. Something of no consequence in her Inventory – but completely cringe-worthy in Local Chat. Are nosey people actually asking for these features? Or is it out there just because the technology had been developed and someone wanted to see their ‘double range super-snooper’ out on the internet?

Beth thinks this Cult of the Over-Exposed is a sign of the times in RL and SL. Too much ‘Reality’ TV. Way too much Facebook and Twittering. Beth is of the opinion that instead of being a sublime way of passing round crafted and relevant information, these social networking tools have been high-jacked by people with uncontrollable emotional diarrhoea and an inability to prevent themselves from spontaneously ejaculating every whim and caprice from their unremarkable lives. If it occurs to them, then it must automatically be special or interesting. Sadly, Beth has found, this is seldom the case. And unfortunately these same public vomiters and soul-barers often come with a matching set of pompous and overinflated expectations that everybody else should behave in the same socially incontinent way. Good grief! They want us all to become permanent-broadcast nudists! They want us to rip open our Byronesque shirts and expose our inner workings like the worst kinds of phlemn-hacking poets! Beth (as regular readers will attest) is not going to have any of THAT nonsense!

Back on SL, profiles and blogs are full of preposterous double-standards masquerading as ‘ethics’ at the moment and Beth would like to encourage her readers to challenge them. In the nicest possible way, of course. After all, these are just thin and leaky avatars who are taking their social networking assumptions into a world that actively supports imaginative, creative and genuinely interesting people. They have a lot to learn.

If someone claims that they are ‘the same in SL as RL’ then perhaps the suggestion could be put to them that they LOOSEN UP A LITTLE. Send them a landmark to Curio Obscura, Signature Skin Labs or Weirdiculous. Try on some clothes, some personalities, a Horseless Travel Gown. See who else is in there. Live it up!

If you meet one of those refugees from Facebook who sees every avatar as a walking opportunity to ‘unload’ about their crap boss or their unrewarding love life, then gently point out to them that SL is a wonderful place to ESCAPE from that kind of stuff and give them landmarks to Greenies Room, Racers Island or Nakama. Or better still, direct them to Avatars United where they can exchange bollocks with the rest of the moaning minnies.

If someone pleads “Don’t lie to me” or “Don’t give me grief” or (the classic, and appalling badly spelled) “dont like hassel, aggresion and atitude” - you might want to mention that expecting everybody else in the rest of the entire world toa) figure out what might be upsetting to this one individual and
b) be on their constant guard against it
is SOMEWHAT UNREALISTIC. People have different opinions, talk rubbish and are utterly mistaken in RL. Why would it be any different in SL? This attitude is particularly galling when these delicate flowers appear to regard any role-players, explorers or alts as evil, deceptive, persecuting villains who are deliberately trying to trick, cajole or con these ‘pure’, ‘honest’, ‘ethical’ Revelators. Nah – Beth thinks that the only people doing the deceiving are yourselves. Go to Erie Isle, Dark City or Insilico and revel in the delights of fantasy and make-believe.


And for those completely misguided souls who feel the need to monotonously point out the blindingly obvious: “the you on the screen is just as much you as in real life”
Well, duh – who were you expecting? There isn’t anybody else there at the keyboard, you know. Avatar’s Operators aren’t channelling the souls of dead people or having thoughts beamed into their heads by space aliens or being possessed by demons. But some have things like ‘personalities’, ‘characteristics’ and ‘imaginations’. It’s OK. It’s human. Don’t be scared. These are things that can be played with and enjoyed. Try it. You might like it. Go to Renaissance Island, Immersiva or Provence Coeur.

So Beth encourages you to resist these faddish Revelators and their baying for unrestrained, wanton and dissolute lifestyles. Sensible, socially competent, boundary-respecting role-playing folk should not be made to feel they are in the minority or in the wrong. Say ‘no’ to the paranoid, the predatory, the prying and the peddlers. Well, at least you stand a chance with the first three. As for the Advertisers. Sigh. We are just going to have to live with the Advertisers...

Episode 59 - Is Beth thick, thin or leaky?

Beth knows a Fox. He’s a delightful chap. He works in a nightclub, narffles when he laughs and talks very engagingly like a dog. He’s a mine of information on gay bars and strip clubs and flirts in a very gentlemanly manner. He is thick. Definitely thick.

Beth knows a Victorian Gentleman Adventurer. He is a dilettante, talks very precisely and properly and makes no bones about being in SL to explore and observe. He has valiantly resisted all of Beth’s painfully clumsy attempts at flirtation and may very well have a partner in RL or SL. Or he may have a female Operator who isn’t into that kind of thing. Beth doesn’t know. He doesn’t say. So Beth puts it down to him being thick.
And then there is the Vampire. He has a castle and responsibility for a ‘kingdom’ of vampires. Beth adores his home, especially the views from his ‘sundeck’ (which she finds hilarious in the circumstances) They talk quite formally most of the time, but he is a thoroughly modern Vampire with a wide screen TV and current political views, so there is probably a fair degree of spill-over from his Operator’s RL during the conversation. Beth would say he is thick, but with a charming bit of leakage.

Now, in complete contrast, we have one of Beth’s alts. She is involved with a RL business which has just set up an online ‘branch’ in SL. It’s not a SL business as such (they are not selling to SL avatars) but use a sim to bring in their own clients and put them through training courses. Brilliant! So Beth’s Operator has set up an avatar that looks like she does in ‘work mode’. Business Woman does not dress like a Victorian Librarian Transvestite, wear glasses or blunder around outside of this home sim having adventures. If you talk to her it will be exactly the same as if you called her at work in RL. There are links to her RL website, her photo, her name and everything. So Beth would say Business Woman is thin. Supermodel thin.

But what is Beth? Now, originally, Beth came into SL to find out about the possibility of marketing a novel to a SL audience. And joined writer’s groups, started a blog, helped edit someone else’s first draft and so on. Oh – and got completely distracted and addicted to SL in general, met and made friends with some wonderful people and had heaps of fun and adventures. Plus she’s fallen into a lot of water and walked into a lot of walls. But who is Beth? She isn’t Business Woman, that’s for sure. She IS a pretty cheeky and adolescent character a lot of the time. She’s a heck of a lot less shy than her Operator is in RL. So certain aspects of Beth’s Operator’s personality come through online. Others don’t. Beth doesn’t mention much about her Operator’s RL to anyone, even people she has been talking with for several months now. She would rather talk about things that are happening in SL. She CERTAINLY doesn’t want to hear about your crap day at work and see photos of your grandkids! So not completely thick. Definitely not thin. And on the reticent side of leaky. Perhaps.

What Beth definitely tries to be is honest. A good character should have (in the opinion of Beth’s Operator, the sad, wanna-be novelist) authenticity, integrity and consistency. Oh, but we can only wish that everyone was like that in RL and SL, eh! (Heck, we can only hope that the characters in Beth’s Operator’s novel are like that…) But most people in RL and SL have a good crack at it. Beth has developed her own personality, has her own interests, her own set of friends. Business Woman has a very different SL. There is another alt who only Role Plays. And then there is Seth. Ah yes! What news of Seth? Has he been out much? Yes, he has.

Seth has found a male friend from RL Moscow who is obviously involved in some sort of project and has asked Seth to explain what the heck is going on in some Kiwi TV ads. Knowing the ads in question and a fair bit about Kiwi culture, Seth has been happy to oblige. He has also found himself talking to female avatars, and his Operator has been pleasantly surprised at the response. It turns out that Seth is hyper-attentive, extremely polite, is genuinely interested in what people have to say and has a simple, non-sarcastic sense of humour that is really quite endearing. It transpires that he is a nice, well-brought up, polite South Auckland lad. Pretty well everything Beth, and her Operator, are not! So Seth’s Operator is finding vent to a whole new side of her RL personality. Some of Beth’s mates are now asking if they can maybe please hang out with Seth instead? She cannot for the life of her fathom out why! Can you?

So in his Operator’s opinion, Seth is a thick avatar. Age, gender, colour, nationality – all completely different from the Operator’s. But he doesn’t have a tail, dead-white skin or furry legs with hooves. He’s not obviously thick. In fact Seth looks quite ‘normal’. Hmmm. Other avatars might expect him to be thin and leaky. And is it just Beth, or have SL players with those kinds of expectations been breeding like bunnies in recent times? They seem to have a very particular agenda. And it does not seem to be thick avatar friendly. In fact – there appears to be a lot of these thin and leaky avatars who are actively thick avatar averse. Most unfriendly, in Beth’s opinion.

So has young Seth picked a bad time to hatch? Is this Brave New World actually full of dullards, one-dimensional people and ponderous ethics committees? Where Beth only has to worry about canals, corridors and snide comments about her attire, does Seth have to run the gauntlet of refugees from Facebook who view imagination, creativity and plain old-fashioned make-believe as a personal affront and rank deception and dishonesty? Yikes! Is this what SL is coming to? Medium-thickness, slightly leaky Beth has been out and about with her notebook. She has been asking the questions and snooping the profiles. And Seth has changed his 1st Life info to broadcast unequivocally “what happens in RL stays in RL”. Will that be enough to stave off an attack of the thin and leakies? Let’s find out after Beth turns her hand to sleuthing in Second Life …

Episode 58 – Beth Takes On The Enormous Penis

M I read your last blog post
B Oh yes? What did you think?
M Typical of you – all highly ‘observational’ and basically taking the piss out of everybody else
B Oh dear…
M But you could hardly say you were speaking from actual experience, could you?
B Uh…huh?
M There’s only one real way to know for sure, you know…
Beth wonders where this is leading and whether she wants to go there
M You have to create your own male avatar!

If you have read the previous posts, you will be familiar with the fact that Beth already possesses a ‘Male Casual Walk’ (because she doesn’t want to get motion-sickness everytime she walks down a corridor - which is the danger with your average turbulence-inducing wiggly female walk); she wears men’s suits because female clothes seldom fit (despite having created a less-than-RL-average-sized avatar); and that she even acquired a penis from a freebie shop when she thought no one was looking (not that she was ever able to satisfy her morbid curiosity about the thing – she couldn’t figure out how to rez it and it has lain in a corner alongside other impulse freebie acquisitions such as a beach hut, a set of skis and that nun’s habit)

Beth has also done a fair bit of sex-changing in the past – mainly by accident. The cause being those sneaky Shapes that you sometimes get free with outfits. No matter how carefully you check the box, when you click on the folder and choose ‘Add to outfit’ from the menu – suddenly you are transformed into what looks like one of those horrendous stick-figure ‘greys’ that conspiracy theorists with anal-probe fetishes are always banging on about. Sometimes there is a male shape lurking in the deep recesses, and whoops! you expand into this weird triangle on a stick with steroid-abuse muscles and an inability to use a razor. Beth has also been unable to resist the temptation to click on the gender button in ‘Appearance’ to see what she would look like as her brother…
So all in all, it wasn’t perhaps such an enormous leap of imagination to take the next, seemingly obvious, step – and build her own man. Beth’s Operator has already created two female avatars to play with in SL. So the process for hatching a third was remarkably quick and efficient. Beth’s Operator chose the Musician Guy as the basic character, and set up the new avatar. Let’s call him “Seth”. In less than an hour Seth had visited freebie shops and XStreet where he acquired the basics in skin, the same walk as the girls have, hair, jeans and a tee shirt and a pair of jandels for his feet (he is a Kiwi bloke, after all!)

Skin was hard to find. Seth wanted to be brown. There is a distinct lack of black, brown and yellow avatars on SL, and he thought he’d redress the balance in a small way. Besides, Beth’s Operator is partial to brown… He found a nice one called Salamon in Shiloh Jun Ethnic Skins and a ridiculously cheap L$11 one on XStreet called Xpressions Male Skin 6. Unfortunately the shape that came with it turned Seth into a mini, olive-skinned Incredible Hulk, so he set about narrowing the shoulders, reducing the musculature and widening the hips until he became a most acceptable ectomorph. Apart from any number of tee shirts and pairs of jeans, Seth had limited success in finding anything in the slightest bit stylish or interesting clothes-wise. But he has acquired a number of Land Marks to exceptionally nice stuff (including neru jackets, trench coats and the fascinating ‘Adulterer’s Suit’ in places like Casa Del Shai) should he continue his adventures. Hair was also throwing up a very sparse range of choices – until he was put onto Damselfly. But quite honestly, he really likes the Musician’s hair and will stick with it for a while (maybe it’s the red highlights – very Beth!)

So what were Seth’s first impressions of life as a guy? His Operator reported back that it was remarkably non-weird. Driving him around didn’t produce any emotional baggage to surge up and engulf her. She didn’t feel an urge to question her gender-identify or experience a devastating disruption in her sexuality. It just felt like driving an avatar. Of course, all Seth was doing was shopping, so he had the perfect excuse not to interact with or talk to anyone else. Would it feel different had he gone to a dancehall or fell into conversation in the Botanical Gardens? Unknown at this stage.

So anyway, once he was feeling suited and booted, Seth went straight over to M’s place and smugly reported back.

M Hmmmm. OK. That’s all very well
S What do you mean?
M You can’t really call yourself a man until you’ve bought a penis
Seth was not quite ready for this one
S You mean I have to go out penis shopping?
M Exactly! I’ll take you!
Seth has the awful feeling he has just been duped – but realises there is now no turning back…

M OK. Have you been to Dark Delights?S I don’t think so…
M The one with all the sick, extreme stuff?
S Er… Doesn’t sound familiar
M Then we should go!

Seth accepted M’s teleport and arrived at a fairly typical-looking shopping mall – except for all the penises dangling from the walls.
M OK... I'm assuming we don't need anything scripted.
S Scripted?!
Beth/Seth had heard of ‘cut’ and ‘uncut’ penises – but ‘scripted’ and ‘unscripted’! His/her tiny minds boggled.
M Like the XCite stuff? If both partners have XCite attachments, they can "stimulate” each other and the things post messages in chat
S I’m sorry. Did you just tell me that there are pee-pees and frou-frous out there in SL carrying on conversations in local chat?
M Not exactly. It’s a technical thing, I know you have trouble with the technical stuff…
S You’re saying that genitals are living their own Second Lives?
M That’s a pretty terrifying idea. But then I’ve often thought that the ones in RL have minds of their own…
S Sentient reproductive organs! With a Master Plan! SL will be overrun in a matter of months!
Seth picked his jaw up from the ground in front of him and tried to focus on the task in hand. To be honest, the meat and two veg on offer looked pretty ugly. But boy! Could they do a lot of tricks! Seth was amazed at the intense detail that had gone into the multi-functionality of these little chaps. Months of work were implied by their abilities to levitate up and down, twirl around, pee on command and ejaculate great fountains of white goo. While, unfortunately, less attention appeared to have been paid to the aesthetics of each piece. Unable to find anything that appealed, Seth looked to his companion for further advice.
M Well, there are plenty more to see. We’ll move on. I'll show you the rest of this fascinating place another time :)
S Yeah. OK. If you insist!
Seth did not think this sounded like an exceptionally entertaining Boy’s Night Out.

Another tp, another penis shop. This one was called ‘Midnight Lotus’
M OK... this is the one that I’m currently using
S I can’t believe it! This was all just a ploy to get me to look at your cock?!
M You can't blame me for trying ;)
Seth reminded M who he was talking to now. M looked suitably sheepish
S Right! Let’s get on with this. What am I looking for?
M Over there. Against the wall. A big white statue
And there it was. A huge male mid-section wrought in white marble with a ridiculously large phallus
M Go ahead! You can click on it ;) (I know you won't be able to resist that!)
Seth is actually slightly grossed out by the gargantuan dong
M I was wondering if it was big enough for you ;)
Seth ‘harrumphed’ conspicuously and tentatively waving his cursor over the preposterous appendage
S Size has never been a factor for me in RL and it isn’t going to be here either! (Seth says somewhat pompously)
M grinned
A big blue menu appeared in the corner of Seth’s screen. The functions took him aback once again. There were several degrees of up and down, it was possible to make it disappear, but unfortunately that particular function had been disabled. As had the pee-ing option. Now, in RL, Beth is no stranger to using men’s toilets or pee-ing standing up (as are many other women who find themselves at crowded music gigs or any kind of popular outdoor festival or event). So Seth felt no strong desire to run off to an Elfin Glade in a role-playing sim somewhere and start hosing-down the woodland animals just because he could. But he did dutifully wiggle the monstrous member to feel he was getting the most out of the trip here.
S Oh my
M was enjoying Seth’s discomfort immensely
M It's resizable
S (Of course it is…) Can you get one without the knobs on? (so to speak) Something neat and compact is all I ask!
M I think they mostly all come with pee and cum options
S Well. OK. I suppose this one is basically ungross

And so ended Seth’s first lesson in ‘becoming a man’. If he has any more, they will appear in this blog. Did he buy the resizable ‘Gold Edition’ with pee functions? Well, if you see a young SL avatar who looks like he could be a Victorian Librarian Transvestite in a male body – you will just have to stroll up and ask him, won’t you?

Episode 57 – Beth Rants On About Gender

Beth was visiting a Norse Prince. He has a splendid rustic hide-away - walls dripping with Old Masters, his own hayloft and a rather fetching polar bear rug (the next time Beth visits she will make him tell her the story of how he ‘bagged’ the beast – and perhaps they can compare harpoon guns) Although they had been IM-ing (having been introduced via a mutual friend) this was the first time the two of them had had a good look at each other. Beth very much liked his regally Nordic attire and made a note for later of where he’d acquired his boots. He, in turn, was assessing her in a somewhat quizzical way
NP Yes, it’s a very ‘interesting’ outfit/avatar…
Beth attempted to explain how and why she seemed to have developed this Victorian Librarian Transvestite look
NP Intriguing!
B Oh yes?
NP Well, 'transvestite' begs the question of your real gender!
B Ah. 'Real gender'
NP Your RL gender, I mean
B What a minefield that one is!
NP Hmmmm. RL/SL questions are always troublesome
B But fascinating!

In RL the gender continuum is long. Medically, the distance between ultra ‘female’ and ultra ‘male’ contains all sorts of physical and psychological goodies. XXY, XXX, X0, XXYY, Swyer syndrome, hermaphroditism, intersexuality, transgender. Plenty of hooks to hang your hat on there. And if gender is a broad spectrum, then add sexuality or sexual preference to the mix, and we have a whole world of choices to play around in. Put that whole kit and caboodle into SL and good grief! The possibilities are simply endless. And yet… Maybe she has not stumbled across the right places yet. But her travels have revealed a high degree of conformity that gives Beth pause for thought. Along with constant enquires about her RL gender.
Other things Beth has observed:
Someone quoted some statistics (if they can remember the source, please add it to the ‘comments’ below) saying that about 65% of the membership of Second Life is male. But over 50% of avatars in the game are female. What might account for the disparity in numbers? One friend’s theory is that “A lot of so-called lesbians are actually men who can’t handle rejection. So they 'take the veil' so to speak. And pretend to be lesbians, to get a woman” The same friend suggested that a huge number of ‘female’ submissives in the Gorean sims are driven by male Operators in RL (now THAT might account for a significant portion of the figures! But even so…)

Beth has also seen surveys saying that some female Operators create a male alt just to get a bit of peace and quiet. While shy male avatars are left high and dry like barren islands in the social flow, whack a pair of tits on an avatar and you are a chat magnet to all and sundry! So RL females are slouching into a hoodie and sneakers in order to gawp at the scenery unmolested. And gregarious RL chaps apparently slip into some stilettos and a short frock just to be included in the conversation. Beth has also heard of ex-SL-lovers coming back as female avatars to stalk the woman who spurned them. And of female avatars setting up male alts to check on lovers they suspect of cheating on them (in fact, Beth remembers that there is a wonderful PookyMedia short called “Shrink Wrapped” at http://www.pookymediafilms.com/ that deals with many of these aspects in a particularly wry and amusing way)

So why are people so interested in one’s RL ‘gender’? And why is it such a big, persistent niggle for some people? Logically it makes no sense. Knowing things about a person in RL certainly wouldn’t come up as a prerequisite in other aspects of SL:
“But are you a 6ft cat with super-powers in RL? – because I can’t possibly go to Bogart’s with you unless you are”
“Are you abusing steroids and accumulating an illegal arsenal in RL? – because I couldn’t contemplate sacking this city with you and your gang of mercenaries if not”
“Have you had a shower in RL? Because I’m not letting you drink my blood and ravish me if you are actually sitting around in your underpants, hair un-combed and being generally unwashed”
Honestly – if the last were required before anything happened in SL – the place would cease to exist!


But again and again, Beth is questioned about her RL gender. OK – some people might be asking themselves “When you can come onto SL and create any kind of body that pixel technology will allow, why would anyone choose a squat, dumpy, short-sighted, hobbit-footed Victorian Librarian Transvestite?” But, as her conversation with the Charming Norse Prince indicated – it would seem to go deeper than that. Some of Beth’s friends tell her that many Operators, usually but not exclusively ‘real male’ ones, on meeting a new avatar will, quite naturally and unconsciously, fast-forward through possible text and sim scenarios to the part where they imagine they will get to see this avatar naked. And this involuntary mission statement then throws up all sorts of unwitting precursors in the Operator's subconscious. The two biggest fears for most of the people Beth has stubbornly interrogated on this subject are:
a) Fear of deception and
b) Fear of inadvertent homosexuality

The Operators of both male and female avatars that Beth has spoken to do try to come up with some logical or satisfactory explanation for these fears, but find themselves falling back on “I can’t answer that question! It’s just a feeling!” or “I don’t know! It’s just my nature!” They are as confused as Beth is by their inability to come up with an answer – but we seem to be poking into the realm of trying to defy human hard-wiring.

“I’d hate to find out that the woman I’ve been talking to for the last week is actually a hairy-arsed biker from Detroit. I don’t know why, it’s just a feeling”. Now everyone knows that avatars on SL seldom resemble their RL Operators. Beth’s Operator, for example, is quite happy to confess right here and now that she is not a 23 year old, 8ft supermodel with bad breast implants; she hasn’t had most of her midriff organs surgically removed to give herself a 10 inch waist and her parents didn’t insist on binding her feet from infancy. So she feels under no obligation to create the kind of female avatar that most often appears in SL. She doesn’t know ANYONE in RL who fits that description, so she expects that a high degree of deception is going on in SL. And as she said to one of her friends: “How come you are worried about kissing a hairy guy Operator, but not a fat, ugly, hairy girl Operator? Because the chances are - she will be!” And his reply, was, of course “It’s a good question, and I can’t tell you the answer. It’s just the way I feel!” So perhaps it is worse to be deceived by any guy than even the ugliest of women? Weird! But very interesting…

So when the Norse Prince entered into the ‘transvestite/real gender’ conversation with Beth, what buttons had been pressed? And how? Was it all down to Beth’s eclectic wardrobe decisions? Or something striking at the very heart of human nature? Was he secretly undressing Beth and her Operator in SL and RL? Beth finds it hard to believe that someone of such regal breeding and impeccable manners could be entertaining such an idea! But that certainly didn’t stop her from teasing him mercilessly and stringing him along with taunts of “Mind your own business!” and “I’ll leave it to you to work out!” She played up the impossibility of him ever being sure that she wasn’t a hairy-arsed biker from Detroit, but even so, he did IM her after their meeting and sent her a haiku. Which he assured her was NOT one of those detestable poems she is so averse to – and indeed it wasn’t.

facing the ocean,
a sudden squall, gust of wind:
piss sprays in my face!

What a great way to test a theory on someone’s RL gender while musing on the general human/avatar condition. Beth will tuck it away in her Inventory for later…

Episode 56 – Balls Up at Bogarts

Beth is determined to master pose balls. She is creating a catalogue of them as she trips the light fantastic with any of her friends bonkers enough to be seen out dancing with a Victorian Librarian Transvestite wearing a ballgown. Beth is becoming a dab hand at switching dances as the music changes at a few select venues. She looks so much better dancing than walking – and of course, it means she gets to take the lead!

Bella Vida and Bogart’s are frequent haunts (along with The Pour House punk bar – though Beth tends to leave her ballgown at home for that one…) While merrily salsa-ing and giving it some cha-cha-cha, Beth makes full use of her Imprudence viewer’s profile-perver to check out her fellow dancers and has a good nosey around at frocks and faces. Some nights there are lots of single female avatars, along with the couples. Some nights there are lots of single men. Rarely, for some reason, do the numbers seem to tally up to give all these singles a fighting chance.

Beth has witnessed a lone, pitiful male wailing to the room in general:
“Is there anyone here I can dance with! Please? I bought this tux and everything!”



She has seen the lone newbie female tentatively hovering by the dancefloor, only to tp away in fright the moment a male avatar takes three steps towards her.

And Beth has seen ‘the showdown’. This is where lone male is spotted by lone female. Lone female strides across the dancefloor and stands, provocatively, a few yards away, staring intently at lone male. It looks pretty peculiar. Is she waiting for him to join her for a dance? Did the elastic just snap on her knickers and she can’t take another step? Has he flung up a forcefield to keep her at bay? Most likely what is happening is an intense flirtatious negotiation between the two of them on IM. What it looks like to everyone else in the room is a well-dressed Mexican stand-off.

Those in the know are probably ‘silently’ cheering them on in their own IMs. Or making bitchy comments about the clothes, the body shapes or the relative chances that lone female and lone male have with the other. What eventually transpired with this particular two - was the ‘pose ball tussle’. The flirtatious negotiation obviously ended in an agreement to take a spin round the floor to some Frank Sinatra, because they accompanied each other to a conveniently empty spot. But clearly the negotiation did not extend to ‘who should click on the dance intan’. So both of them did. There are now four pose balls hovering above them. Two blue, two pink. The battle for supremacy in this nascent relationship continues as both try to be the first to click on the pose balls, and hence choose the dance. Now only two balls remain dangling. Unfortunately, they do not belong to the same set. So now the two of them are dancing – but not with each other. Beth did not put high odds on this couple chances for an evening of unbridled romance. It is highly likely that they got into sync eventually (Beth has noticed that people using the same dance near each other tend to fall into matching movements after a while – couples look like they are part of a formation team, and singles end up doing a kind of twisted line-dance) But whether this would lead to the start of a beautiful friendship, Beth wasn’t so sure.



As it was, Beth was now distracted by another dancehall phenomenon. Through her profile-perving addiction, Beth has noticed that a lot of the couples are those ‘married ones’. You know, the ones who insist on telling everyone in SL how much they love so-and-so, how they are soul mates and how much he/she ‘rocks their world’. There is always some ghastly photo of them wrapped up in each other like terrified puppies facing Cruella Deville. Now, in principle, Beth has no issue with people brandishing their private relationships and intimate details in public – she knows that some people feel a compulsion to share indiscriminately. Like nudists and poets. But what Beth has noticed is that at these dancehalls, as well as a lot of the couples, a large number of the lone male and female avatars are also these marriage proclaimers. And she has also noticed that a lot of the ‘couple marrieds’ will happily swap in and out with these ‘lone marrieds’. Just mixing it up a bit with a ‘safe’ dance partner? If all the marrieds are so devoted to each other, then obviously there is no danger to the relationship by letting your loved one take a turn around the parquet with someone trustworthy and reliable? Hmmm. Is SL such a communal and supportive place for the perpetuation of monogamous ‘married’ bliss?

Beth thinks not. Beth thinks that this is mere swinger hunting. Couple marrieds and lone marrieds are just out on the prowl for likely partners to take home for hot and sweaty three-somes and four-somes. You might dress up in suits and gowns and declare your unimpeachable devotion to your one true love, but Beth reckons you are as fickle and easily swayed as the next set of avatars. Obviously EVERYONE is at it in SL. Maybe one day even Victorian Librarian Transvestites wearing ballgowns might get lucky. Who knows!

SLers Guide to NZers – acronyms, some Kiwi alternatives

Beth’s Operator has never been one to subscribe to chat rooms, put herself about on Facebook or fling around Tweets and the like. Texting is about as high-tech as she ever got. So learning the language of acronyms is a whole ‘nother SL learning curve to climb. By asking point blank for translations (a highly recommended policy) Beth has started to accumulate a glossary. And that got her thinking… So this post is something of a two-for-one. For the equally uneducated and low-tech people out there, here are some terms that might pop up in your chat box. Plus a little peek into the Kiwi mentality to boot. Beth hopes you enjoy!



If anyone can suggest Kiwi alternatives for other acronyms such as:

TMI = Too Much Information
WB = Welcome Back
HB = Hurry back

etc, Beth would be most grateful!
KOB