Beth was visiting a Norse Prince. He has a splendid rustic hide-away - walls dripping with Old Masters, his own hayloft and a rather fetching polar bear rug (the next time Beth visits she will make him tell her the story of how he ‘bagged’ the beast – and perhaps they can compare harpoon guns) Although they had been IM-ing (having been introduced via a mutual friend) this was the first time the two of them had had a good look at each other. Beth very much liked his regally Nordic attire and made a note for later of where he’d acquired his boots. He, in turn, was assessing her in a somewhat quizzical way
NP Yes, it’s a very ‘interesting’ outfit/avatar…
Beth attempted to explain how and why she seemed to have developed this Victorian Librarian Transvestite look
NP Intriguing!
B Oh yes?
NP Well, 'transvestite' begs the question of your real gender!
B Ah. 'Real gender'
NP Your RL gender, I mean
B What a minefield that one is!
NP Hmmmm. RL/SL questions are always troublesome
B But fascinating!
In RL the gender continuum is long. Medically, the distance between ultra ‘female’ and ultra ‘male’ contains all sorts of physical and psychological goodies. XXY, XXX, X0, XXYY, Swyer syndrome, hermaphroditism, intersexuality, transgender. Plenty of hooks to hang your hat on there. And if gender is a broad spectrum, then add sexuality or sexual preference to the mix, and we have a whole world of choices to play around in. Put that whole kit and caboodle into SL and good grief! The possibilities are simply endless. And yet… Maybe she has not stumbled across the right places yet. But her travels have revealed a high degree of conformity that gives Beth pause for thought. Along with constant enquires about her RL gender.
Other things Beth has observed:
Someone quoted some statistics (if they can remember the source, please add it to the ‘comments’ below) saying that about 65% of the membership of Second Life is male. But over 50% of avatars in the game are female. What might account for the disparity in numbers? One friend’s theory is that “A lot of so-called lesbians are actually men who can’t handle rejection. So they 'take the veil' so to speak. And pretend to be lesbians, to get a woman” The same friend suggested that a huge number of ‘female’ submissives in the Gorean sims are driven by male Operators in RL (now THAT might account for a significant portion of the figures! But even so…)
Beth has also seen surveys saying that some female Operators create a male alt just to get a bit of peace and quiet. While shy male avatars are left high and dry like barren islands in the social flow, whack a pair of tits on an avatar and you are a chat magnet to all and sundry! So RL females are slouching into a hoodie and sneakers in order to gawp at the scenery unmolested. And gregarious RL chaps apparently slip into some stilettos and a short frock just to be included in the conversation. Beth has also heard of ex-SL-lovers coming back as female avatars to stalk the woman who spurned them. And of female avatars setting up male alts to check on lovers they suspect of cheating on them (in fact, Beth remembers that there is a wonderful PookyMedia short called “Shrink Wrapped” at http://www.pookymediafilms.com/ that deals with many of these aspects in a particularly wry and amusing way)
So why are people so interested in one’s RL ‘gender’? And why is it such a big, persistent niggle for some people? Logically it makes no sense. Knowing things about a person in RL certainly wouldn’t come up as a prerequisite in other aspects of SL:
“But are you a 6ft cat with super-powers in RL? – because I can’t possibly go to Bogart’s with you unless you are”
“Are you abusing steroids and accumulating an illegal arsenal in RL? – because I couldn’t contemplate sacking this city with you and your gang of mercenaries if not”
“Have you had a shower in RL? Because I’m not letting you drink my blood and ravish me if you are actually sitting around in your underpants, hair un-combed and being generally unwashed”
Honestly – if the last were required before anything happened in SL – the place would cease to exist!
But again and again, Beth is questioned about her RL gender. OK – some people might be asking themselves “When you can come onto SL and create any kind of body that pixel technology will allow, why would anyone choose a squat, dumpy, short-sighted, hobbit-footed Victorian Librarian Transvestite?” But, as her conversation with the Charming Norse Prince indicated – it would seem to go deeper than that. Some of Beth’s friends tell her that many Operators, usually but not exclusively ‘real male’ ones, on meeting a new avatar will, quite naturally and unconsciously, fast-forward through possible text and sim scenarios to the part where they imagine they will get to see this avatar naked. And this involuntary mission statement then throws up all sorts of unwitting precursors in the Operator's subconscious. The two biggest fears for most of the people Beth has stubbornly interrogated on this subject are:
a) Fear of deception and
b) Fear of inadvertent homosexuality
The Operators of both male and female avatars that Beth has spoken to do try to come up with some logical or satisfactory explanation for these fears, but find themselves falling back on “I can’t answer that question! It’s just a feeling!” or “I don’t know! It’s just my nature!” They are as confused as Beth is by their inability to come up with an answer – but we seem to be poking into the realm of trying to defy human hard-wiring.
“I’d hate to find out that the woman I’ve been talking to for the last week is actually a hairy-arsed biker from Detroit. I don’t know why, it’s just a feeling”. Now everyone knows that avatars on SL seldom resemble their RL Operators. Beth’s Operator, for example, is quite happy to confess right here and now that she is not a 23 year old, 8ft supermodel with bad breast implants; she hasn’t had most of her midriff organs surgically removed to give herself a 10 inch waist and her parents didn’t insist on binding her feet from infancy. So she feels under no obligation to create the kind of female avatar that most often appears in SL. She doesn’t know ANYONE in RL who fits that description, so she expects that a high degree of deception is going on in SL. And as she said to one of her friends: “How come you are worried about kissing a hairy guy Operator, but not a fat, ugly, hairy girl Operator? Because the chances are - she will be!” And his reply, was, of course “It’s a good question, and I can’t tell you the answer. It’s just the way I feel!” So perhaps it is worse to be deceived by any guy than even the ugliest of women? Weird! But very interesting…
So when the Norse Prince entered into the ‘transvestite/real gender’ conversation with Beth, what buttons had been pressed? And how? Was it all down to Beth’s eclectic wardrobe decisions? Or something striking at the very heart of human nature? Was he secretly undressing Beth and her Operator in SL and RL? Beth finds it hard to believe that someone of such regal breeding and impeccable manners could be entertaining such an idea! But that certainly didn’t stop her from teasing him mercilessly and stringing him along with taunts of “Mind your own business!” and “I’ll leave it to you to work out!” She played up the impossibility of him ever being sure that she wasn’t a hairy-arsed biker from Detroit, but even so, he did IM her after their meeting and sent her a haiku. Which he assured her was NOT one of those detestable poems she is so averse to – and indeed it wasn’t.
facing the ocean,
a sudden squall, gust of wind:
piss sprays in my face!
What a great way to test a theory on someone’s RL gender while musing on the general human/avatar condition. Beth will tuck it away in her Inventory for later…
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